Perhaps because I'm a woman, and that's what we do.
Or maybe because I don't trust. A trait I inherited from my mother, who got it from her mother, who learned it from her mother... passed all the way down from my grandmother Eve.
I worry because of pride. I think, somehow that I can to do things better. I don't let go and let God. I've got my own plans for myself.
There is this secret desire inside of each us to be great! We talk about life purpose, but what we really mean is that we want to be something important. "My life needs to have meaning!" We say, deceiving ourselves into believing that our motives our pure.
As Christians we develop "high" goals of missions or outreach. "If I can just change others lives!" We gush with holy enthusiasm, yet in our hearts we are looking for self-glory.
I've filled my own life with my own man made dreams. In the name of God I've struggled to make my life more than it is. If only....I could reach that goal, then my life would be worth living! I've sought to accomplish something great. Over romanticized visions of the future. In the end, my desired dreams and self sacrifice added up to empty self-glorification.
By God's grace, I'm choosing now to lay down my man made dreams. Letting go of all my own ideas for my future. I want to be emptied. Let me now live a life only to Christ. That is the purpose for my life. No more grandiose ideas, no butterflies or rainbows, just me and Jesus.
As Christians we develop "high" goals of missions or outreach. "If I can just change others lives!" We gush with holy enthusiasm, yet in our hearts we are looking for self-glory.
I've filled my own life with my own man made dreams. In the name of God I've struggled to make my life more than it is. If only....I could reach that goal, then my life would be worth living! I've sought to accomplish something great. Over romanticized visions of the future. In the end, my desired dreams and self sacrifice added up to empty self-glorification.
By God's grace, I'm choosing now to lay down my man made dreams. Letting go of all my own ideas for my future. I want to be emptied. Let me now live a life only to Christ. That is the purpose for my life. No more grandiose ideas, no butterflies or rainbows, just me and Jesus.
4 comments:
probably the most important lesson a human being can learn. Well written!
Well stated Caitlin. I could have written the same for myself. Only I would have to blame my father back to Adam, of course.
Well stated Caitlin. I could have written the same for myself. Only I would have to blame my father back to Adam, of course.
Good post. In this case, I guess it's surrendering our "woman-made" though? :-)
Post a Comment