Called

Recently I was given a personal challenge to pray a prayer of purpose. I've heard it said that you must be careful when really asking something of God. My prayers of "Where would you have me? How would you have me live in the now?" ended with direction I never expected.

When we ask God to show us purpose we probably expect something with flash or passion, something significant. There must be some great meaning or ministry, etc in plan for our lives. Answers to these kinds of prayers should be definitive; an explanation of where we are going. Or, so it would seem. The answer to my prayers was consistently -- suffer.

Suffering is not something we usually seek. In our humanity the last thing on earth we want to experience is suffering. Discomfort is unpleasant! In fact, at the threats of hell fire and brimstone some have become Christians to avoid suffering. But to truly follow Christ, suffering is unavoidable.

The call to suffer seems strange at first. After listening to it and staring into its face, I have come to see suffering as the call of the Christian. In Matthew 10:22 Jesus told his disciples that they would be hated because of Him. Some, though, may never experience much opposition here. While this is an important point for a Christian to contemplate, the call to suffer goes much deeper.

"Then Jesus said unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow me." Matthew 16:24 (KJV) The cross, the ultimate symbol of suffering is Christ's call.

Deeper still, the call to suffer is not mere pain or even the act of sacrifice. Paul warns that it is possible to even give your life away and yet have it be of no profit. (Corinthians. 13:3) The only way to avoid this is to do the hardest thing in all the world, to completely give up oneself to suffer. The daily inward surrender of ourselves is the suffering to which we are called.

In Hannah Hurnard's allegory Hinds Feet On High Places, the character Much Afraid is given two companions. Sorrow and Suffering, as her companions, to help her reach the High Places. Without these two, poor Much Afraid could not have accomplished her destination.

After Nathan the prophet condemned him, David lamented his state, "Behold, I was sharpened in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." Psalms 51:5 (KJV). By very nature he was sinful. All humanity has the same nature. More than just mere inclination and tendency, self living is entwined within us.

While our hearts are so inherently self-centered and evil we are told, "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:5 (KJV). Christ is love and selflessness. Just to acknowledge our nature can be difficult! Giving up our self will is painful. "...mortify the deeds of the body..." Paul tells us (Romans 8:13 KJV). As a natural human, I really don't want to mortify anything connected to me! Yet that is exactly what we need.

A few days back I was praying for wisdom to respond to an irritating situation. Nothing I tried seemed to work. I knew I was not in the wrong, so I used "righteous indignation" as an excuse to defend myself. Quietly God brought to my mind the picture of a silent Christ. He stood before His accusers, listened to outrageous accusations, and received torture in silence. He did not seek to vindicate Himself. He always let go of Himself. Yet these moments of silence are some of his most glorious.

Christ's life, free from self, is our example. For us to surrender to selfless living is to suffer. Any small surrender of one's will is difficult. If we then are not daily surrendering, and therefore suffering, we are missing the Christian calling. If we find that we are not suffering then perhaps we should examine our lives to see if we are truly surrendering to love.

Maybe if we would stop to listen we would all hear Christ whisper to our hearts
-- suffer.